Wednesday, May 5, 2010

"I would like to preemptively apologize for whatever comes next."

Today, I did many things.

I had a job interview.

I had dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in six months.

And then I saw Birdemic: Shock and Terror. And it was all over.

Birdemic is a film made by a James Nguyen from San Jose. His budget was $10,000. The story is simple: A bunch of maniacal crows and eagles suddenly attack Half Moon Bay, killing the patrons. Oh, the shock. Oh, the terror. Right?

This movie got attention because it is so absolutely, completely horrible. There isn't a thing done well. To be honest, my brain is still recovering. It feels like oatmeal.

The highlight of the film is the killer birds, who are entirely computer generated, and made with the kind of technology that was outdated years and years ago. The images, superimposed on the film and observed crookedly by the actors, flap in place and then burst in crayon red when shot.

The director apparently took himself to Sundance, and passed out flyers hoping someone would pick it up. Someone did, and now it's being hailed as the new best worst film ever made, and a cult classic.

It's also playing for one more night at the Clinton Street Theatre in Portland. Originally, my friend and I were the only ones in the theater, and we were hollering at the screen in glee. Eventually, about six other people came in. We more or less continued to holler. Apologies. But seriously, when a movie's this crazily bad... I don't blame my friend for shouting, "This movie made it to Sundance!" at the screen. Among other things.

If I haven't convinced you to see it, watch the trailer.

You're welcome.


  1. Whoa-- were they armed with wire coat-hangers? Wow. P.S. Should you crave another awesomely terrible movie I recommend "Gymkata"

  2. Thanks, Sarah! I think I'm going to have to start keeping a list of awesomely bad movies. A friend just seconded your "Gymkata" mention, and insisted I add "American Ninja"...

    I sincerely hope I don't have time for this. :)

  3. Bit late, but I forgot to mention, they are in fact armed with coat hangers. And when that shot switches from an interior to an exterior shot, they are suddenly and inexplicably armed with guns.