"How did I get here?"

January will be over in a matter of hours. I will be a year older in a matter of days (Technically, I'll only be a couple days older, but you know, it's what we say.).

The start of 2010 has been an odd one. I refuse to call it difficult, or rocky, or anything like that. But it has been odd.

My mom just finished another week in the hospital, and it was a week of questions and half-answers and retractions and revisions, and for the most part, it was a lot of unsettledness. Thankfully, she is once again at home, and things seem to be figured out. Fingers crossed, etc.

At the start of last week, I got the idea in my head that what I needed in my life was Talking Heads. I was certain that there was a connection to be easily made there, in the current unsettledness in me and the twitchy, generally agitated sounds of the music. And every time I thought of it, there would be a Talking Heads song on the radio, or in the store, or wherever I happened to be, almost immediately. This tends to happen to me quite a bit--I think, "Wow, it'd be great to hear ____________ right now," and within 15 minutes, they appear.

You would think that would be enough, but this is the other thing that happens to my brain: When I get a need for a particular band in my head, nothing else will satiate the need, no matter how close, how brilliant, how compelling Band B may be. And so despite the songs here and there, I found myself heading to Music Millennium to put some lotion on the itch. I walked out with some Talking Heads and the new Magnetic Fields, and I feel so much better.

I also feel like a total nerd, especially after realizing as I drove away that almost exactly two years ago, I was in Everyday Music on Sandy with some friends (another fine local establishment; let's hear it for Portland music shops!), and I bought what was the new Magnetic Fields album at the time ("Distortion", if you're curious), and the second Band of Horses cd. I don't know how or why I remember these details, but at least I'm somewhat consistent.

So, January's been odd. And 2010 has not settled into a groove as yet. But apparently, for me, nothing says "Happy early birthday, self!" like being able to drive down Burnside singing "Psycho Killer". Charming, isn't it?