Heather is a bum.

I didn't go back to the gym Friday.

In fact, I haven't been back in ages.

I did buy an iPod, a swimsuit (for the HydroPower aqua aerobics class I have yet to take) and a yoga mat.

The mat is shrink-wrapped, and I can't get the iPod to sync to my iTunes library (yes, I downloaded the latest version). The swimsuit still has the tags on it.

It's like things are on pause, across the board. Not stopped, not stalled... just paused.

Any ideas on how best to push play?

This blog is not just about the gym...

I promise. But for now, it kind of is.

So, I went back to the gym today. And when I say that I'm slow, I'm really slow. 

Monday, I walked a half a mile on the treadmill, at a pace of 1.5 mi, with a 2.0 incline. Not a lot, but it was enough. 

So today, I walked a half a mile, with the same 2.0 incline, but at a pace of 1.6. 

So you know what that means, a quarter mile took me nine minutes. 

Nine sweaty, painful minutes. 

But I did the half mile. 

I also tried the fly machine, which seemed really easy and simple, until I hit my tenth rep, at which point my arms started saying OMG WHY WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG IT BURNS OMG. 

I did three sets of ten. Better than zero....

And I very seriously need to make the small investment in an iPod Shuffle, or maybe a Nano. Today's Bally's playlist included the following: Van Halen's "Panama", painful enough alone. That was followed by Phil Collins. WHAT is Phil Collins doing in a GYM? And that, friends, was followed by Vertical Horizon. 

VERTICAL HORIZON. 

I hope you understand how painful that was to my ears. 

VERTICAL HORIZON. 

I'm going back Friday. 

Version Me

I have not written a blog post in a really long time.

In fact, I haven't done a lot of things in a really long time.

Since I last posted, it's a new year. Worldwide, some beautiful and some horrible things have happened, and my prayer is that the horrible will come back around and birth some beauty soon.

In my own little speck of the world, I turned 30. In fact, I turned 30 while I was sick in bed, not yet realizing that I had pneumonia.

The pneumonia is gone now, but it certainly took its time.

One of the other things that I haven't done in a really long time is go to the gym. Day after day, I left work, looked at the big neon Bally's sign literally directly across the street (it could only be closer if it were in my building), sighed a little bit, and drove home.

Being sick makes you depressed, and getting sick when you're already. let's be honest, pretty depressed, makes you REALLY depressed, and when you're depressed you don't want to work out--maybe you want to go home and watch mindless TV. Like "Wipeout." Not that I ever did that. But, you know.

SO.

Without making this post too full of self-pity or just plain boring, I decided to go back to the gym today. No more maybe. Today.

Nevermind that it's Monday.
Nevermind it's a night I'm working late.
Nevermind I don't feel like going to the gym.

So, I went to the gym. Having cerebral palsy at the gym tends to make everything a little more intense, a little more daunting. The machines are scary, and could potentially throw you to the ground. Everyone around you is very fast, and very thin.

I got on the treadmill and got a look from the guy next to me, who was casually strolling. Not a mean or hurtful look, but that look that everyone gives me initially--the  flash of sizing up and 'what's-going-on-here'-ness.

God, I thought, He's gonna be watching me.
And then I realized: I didn't care.

I listened to our side-by-side footfalls on the treadmill belts. There were two of his for every one of mine.

God, I thought, I'm so slow.
And then I realized: I didn't care.

I started sweating (like, really sweating) at about five minutes in.
God, I thought, I look a mess. And I'm going so slow. And this guy's watching me (he wasn't, for the record).
And I realized I didn't care.

I walked a half a mile on the treadmill. That might not seem like much, but I don't walk a half a mile anywhere, ever. Every goal I set for myself, I reset a little further out. When I return to the gym, half a mile will be the expectation, not the stretch goal.

I was thinking on the way home about going back to the gym, and about how likely my body was to hurt in the morning (I also did some tricep and chest presses, some tiny free-weight things, and some odd things with an eight pound medicine ball, AND I stayed on that Precor swoopy machine (swoopy) for three entire minutes.

And at first I thought, Heather, you're new! And then I thought, no... this isn't Heather 2.0, or Heather 30.0 or anything else. This is Heather as she is right now. And that's pretty awesome. Not looking in the rearview mirror brightens the horizon exponentially.

Also, the musical selection in Bally's is terrible, and someone needs to give me an iPod, stat.

12-21-2010

New things are on their way. 

Watch this space. 

(Don't literally watch the space--that's liable to get boring. But you know what I mean.)

Because success is not the point: Day One.

So, I've written a little for National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. When I attempted it last year, I didn't have a job and I made it 22 pages. Given that the goal is 50,000 words... that means I gave up pretty quickly.

But some things are ok to give up on. And so, I wrote a little tonight for NaNoWriMo. I won't write 50,000 words, don't plan to. I'm just going to see what happens. So far a vivid dream is informing the first couple paragraphs. That's all there is.

I opened my NaNo from 2009 and am looking at it for the first time in forever. This line made me happy:

"The table was small and cheap and Swedish, and had lived in four apartments before this one."

I am easily pleased.

Heather & cars: The Saga Continues.

So, my car is totaled. I don't have details or a number yet, since the number left to me by my insurance sent me to their 'Total Loss Division" (a depressing name if ever there was one), which is only open Monday-Friday.

So, I need a car. One that is safe and reliable, and easy to get in and out of. I also am collecting car shopping advice, and the numbers of reputable salesmen. Feel free to put me in touch with someone you know and trust.

And just for fun, this is what my car looked like after Monday's (low speed, stop and go) accident:

Blog round-up, week two

It's time, once again, for the blog round-up! The theme this week is...

God, etc. 

I have met all the following bloggers in seminary, during seminary, and/or in close proximity to seminary. In no particular order...

Danielle Shroyer 

Danielle's "About" page says it well, so I'll just let you read it here:

Danielle is the pastor of Journey Church in Dallas.  She is the author of The Boundary-Breaking God:  An Unfolding Story of Hope and Promise (Jossey-Bass, 2009) and speaks often on issues of theology, church leadership and emerging communities of faith.  Danielle lives with her husband and two children in Dallas, Texas.


I discovered Danielle when she was talking about women's seminary experiences on Twitter, and I've enjoyed her blog ever since (Heads up--her *spoiler-free* post on Mad Men is particularly good.)  




Heidi Bay


Heidi came to Multnomah during my second year of seminary. In addition to being a delightfully joyful human being, she has a passion for missions and travel, and she's crafted a blog that's both theologically and stylistically solid (see Sept 12th's post for a uniquely good example).




Perpetual Anticipation


I met David in a fleeting moment in the seminary lounge, sometime in...2008? I think. I had just agreed to complete an internship with Compassion Connect, and David was introduced to me because of the work he was starting with their Apartment Complex Initiative. 


David's blog is a little bit of everything: theology, technology, cars, music, movies, life, and the occasional bit of randomness just for fun. Lately he's been going over Mumford and Son's "Sigh No More" song by song, and while I don't entirely agree with his take on it, I'm glad he's covering them. I only wish I had done it first. :)




Melodious Sonnet


Miki lives in my house. Connecting to her blog was like discovering a whole different side of a housemate. Miki is fun, and sarcastic, and a little wacky at times, and devoted to Guitar Hero and her hockey team of choice. Her blog posts are beautiful, poetic, and powerful. It's the pensive side of the passionate hockey fan, and I like it.  


Ask her to tell you about moon cakes sometime. 




They Call Me Pastor Bryan (or, my favorite blog title)


 I knew who BD was before I met him. In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that our first conversation may have included me saying, "I know who you are." How's that for creepy? 


BD and I were also at seminary together, although he got there before I did. Right now he's a leader @ Sacred Roots, a new community in SE Portland. His blog is full of good stuff. Also, John Calvin was a hipster. Check it out.